How to Start Over When You are Starting Over
A blog about starting a new project or venture.
When you are starting over, it is important to be realistic about what you can accomplish by the end of the day.
Because this is the internet, I’ll define my terms. What do I mean by “starting over?” It could be a million things. So, to give this some context, let’s say that you’re starting over after quitting your job to do your own thing. Or maybe you just had kids and are starting over with a family and a career. Or maybe you’re getting out of a relationship, or moving to a new city.
Whatever it is that is making you start over, the following advice will apply:
When you start over, don’t expect too much out of yourself early on. Especially when it comes to creative work like writing or programming or art (which is what I am doing today), starting over can be an emotional rollercoaster. You might feel really motivated for a few days and get nothing done because all of your energy was spent feeling motivated instead of actually doing anything with that motivation. And then there will be days when you have no motivation at all and try to force yourself to work anyway only to find that
There are plenty of blogs about starting a business or starting a new venture. However, people rarely talk about what to do when you have to start over from scratch after hitting rock bottom. This blog is about the process that Michael Jordan went through to get back up and start again.
Jordan was an outstanding basketball player for the Chicago Bulls. He was so amazing that he made it look easy to most people. Then, in his prime, Jordan decided to quit playing professional basketball and try his hand at baseball instead. After two seasons of struggling in minor league baseball, Jordan decided that he would go back to playing basketball.
This decision seemed crazy at first because Jordan had never played basketball professionally before and he was now older than most rookies. Yet, Jordan went on to become one of the greatest basketball players ever with even more success than before leaving basketball originally.
If you’re starting over, then it’s time to get over yourself.
If you’re like me, you have many dreams and have started many projects that never really took off. You’ve got a bunch of half-finished ideas in your head and a list of projects that didn’t work out stacked so high on your dresser you can’t even see the mirror anymore. You’ve come up with dozens of ideas that could make you rich or famous but are too scared to even start them. Your mind is full of “what ifs.”
You believe that you can do something great…something unique…something that no one else has done before. You want to accomplish something amazing but deep down, don’t think you can. Just when you think the time is right and things are going good, you let fear and self-doubt get the best of you and talk yourself out of trying again.
You keep telling yourself: “I’m going to start over.” But what does “starting over” mean? It means different things to different people. For some it means starting a new job at a new company after getting laid off from the old one. For others it means quitting your 9 to 5 job to become an entrepreneur. For some it means moving from
I am a writer. Sometimes I write so much that I begin to forget that I am not a writer. I am an actor.
It’s very easy, as an actor, to lose track of who you are. To forget what you do. To be so focused on the goal and the dream, the job and the mission that you lose sight of your core self.
You are a human being, first and foremost. Not an actor, not a writer, not a producer. An actor is just one of your many identities, it’s not all that you are or ever will be. You have other interests and passions and desires besides this one title and profession. Don’t let it consume you.
Sometimes life offers us opportunities to be other than our current identity; sometimes it gives us time to stop and think about what we want from life, from ourselves, from our jobs. If you’re lucky enough to have this time now–if you’re starting over in some way–take advantage of it! Use the time you have now to tap into yourself by using other creative outlets or hobbies; find out what else you love doing in life besides acting.
I’m writing this blog because I am starting over as an actor myself…and
When you are starting over, the first and most important thing to remember is that no one cares what you have done in the past. I don’t care who you are or what you have accomplished, when you face a new challenge, no one will know what you have done before. No one will hold your hand, and no one will feel bad for you when things get difficult.
So why do we let our past accomplishments define us? Why do we fight so hard to be known for something instead of allowing ourselves to be known for who we really are?
If we are defined by our past accomplishments then the only way we can feel relevant again is to repeat those actions. We need to recreate that greatness or at least try to continue it on from where it left off.
As an actor, I am constantly faced with this moment of truth. I find myself having to prove myself over and over again to anyone I meet. And even after people get to know my work, there is still that moment when they look at me and go “Oh yeah, he’s from The Office.” I can’t avoid it; it’s part of my identity now.
But when I’m faced with a new challenge I push that away. In order to stay focused on the
If you want to start over, the first step is to recognize that you are starting over. You must know that there is a new beginning in your future.
The second step is to stop comparing yourself to where you were and what you were doing before. Just because you are not there now doesn’t mean that you won’t get there again soon.
The third step is to take a moment and seek inspiration from others who have taken a similar path. Read about them, watch their movies, or call and talk with them directly.
The fourth step is to create an action plan for the next 90 days. Write down goals and milestones with due dates. Then put your plan into action. Take one small step every day towards your goal.
Most people don’t want to hear this, but if you are going through a major life transition–divorce, career shift, loss of a loved one–you are probably going to feel like crap for a while.
Change sucks. Grief sucks. Uncertainty sucks. And even when you’ve chosen the change and know it’s right and can intellectually understand that you’re going to come out of it better on the other side, it still really sucks.
Yes, life is about change and learning to roll with it. But at the same time: remember that your feelings are normal, that this too shall pass, and that in the meantime there are things you can do to ease the pain and speed up the process of recovery.
